2. This emptiness I feel must be where a guy's supposed to fit.
3. Nothing better is going to come along.
4. I don't deserve anything good.
5. When I find the right guy, it'll be like a Disney fairytale.
These are some questions that I find myself and other gals asking themselves. Actually, some of these questions aren't limited to females. Most "young adults," as we are affectionately labeled, start to panic when people our age start finding their "perfect matches." "What's wrong with me? Should I have already found this person?" Even people of younger age struggle with this same concept. "I'm the only girl in high school who hasn't dated anyone." "I need help, someone to comfort me, and I guess it only comes from having a girl/boyfriend." If we're honest, many of us struggle with this.
We all want to be loved.
The question I want to focus on is numero dos. This emptiness I feel must be where a guy (or gal) is supposed to fit.
The first problem I think we have is wrongly evaluating our emptiness. A lot of us don't realize we have something missing; maybe that's why we so blindly seek relationships to crutch our hidden insecurities. When you're sitting alone, in the silence, what questions come to your mind? What do you feel? Sometimes, what comes to mind is too much for us to handle alone. Instead of filling our minds with other people, relationships, hectic schedules--"noise," let's learn to turn to the best listener, advice giver, and confidant we have ever had. Our Maker.
These questions and emotions we keep hidden are often things we find wrong about ourselves. Things we may even find wrong with our relationship with God. If we evaluate these things, the majority, if not all of them, boil down to something missing in our relationship with God. Our faith is placed in something else, we have made other things more important, we believe we alone have power to fix our problems. We sometimes seek the attention of the opposite sex to place a band-aid over these hurts instead of seeking God who will actually heal the wounds.
So how do we fix this? Because obviously relationships, love, etc. are from God. He wants us to find someone who makes us a better person and makes our walk with God even better!
- Acknowledge the problems and sin you have in your life. Being prideful people who are afraid of disappointing our Maker, this is often very difficult. Understand that you aren't disappointing God when you recognize your problems and seek Him to fix them. He exists to help you. He loves it. Don't be afraid to take advantage of all the power and love He shares with us.
- Once you've recognized these insecurities and have given them to God, take time strengthening your relationship with Him. Rebuild your dependency on Him. Since we are imperfect, this will not be an overnight fix. Pray without ceasing. Seek His opinion throughout your day. When your time is consumed with praising and thanking God, you will not have time to think about yourself or your insecurities.
- Once you have sacrificed your problems to God and have dedicated your time to Him, figure out ways to share all He has given you. Living a life dependent on God is a life full of learning. This is when God will place ladies or gents in our lives with which we can build relationships. It's a process of taking what God has given you and giving to other people. Trust that He will provide for you. In the end, the relationship you find with God's help is unbelievably better than one you used as a band-aid to your problems.
Remember, seek Him first. After reading through 1 John I am convinced that we will not be able to love someone without having our loving relationship with God in correct order first. Seek Him before you seek one made from His image. Logically, it makes perfect sense to first seek the one who made us--the ones with the problems.
Trust the hand that made you.
Hang in there and don't get discouraged.
Spend time in praise and thanksgiving and you won't have time to worry about anything else.
IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: As seen in the Bible and in the lives of some of His believers, the fact you have your relationship with Him in order does not guarantee finding your "perfect match." God obviously has the authority to do whatever He wants to with our lives. Realize this as you trust your steps to Him.
